Gifted+Adults

Gifted Adults (Olando Harris)

Gifted Children will grow up to be Gifted Adults. I want to use this research to see if Gifted Adults have the same struggles they did when they were younger, did things get better or did things get worse. What is the focus of a gifted adult who was not pushed (an underachiever) while they were in school. Has that Gifted adult learned to cope with his/her giftedness on their own, or did they have to find help along the way?

A few more questions that will try to be resolved during this research:

Q. Do Gifted Adults have problems with being gifted?

A. Gifted adults can misinterpret their complex and deep way of thinking as craziness. They can mistake their emotional intensity for emotional immaturity or see it as a character flaw. Gifted adults who have never been given information to explain what is "normal for gifted," frequently experience frustration in the world, alienation, anger, self blame, and emptiness. Without an adequate explanation of their gifted difference, they develop a mask to hide who they really are, in order to cover their authentic self; a face that they show to the world in order to fit in and so avoid disapproval or sanction.

If so, what problems do Gifted Adults have?

In what ways can Gifted Adults overcome obstacles in their giftedness?

How does being a gifted adult affect one emotionally?

//Olando, I'm not sure if we are supposed to cross-add to others pages. So I'm adding a little something here. (sophie).//

//Emotionally. Life decision.// //A gifted person who grew with straight As thrives with assessments, and good grades.// //Unfortunately, real life doesn't assess and give good grades.// //The stock market kindof gives you a good grade if your ROI is greater than the print of your managed portfolio.// //But how do you assess and grade stuff like "choosing a life partner"? "raising children"? or for that matter "creating children"?// //I know you cant make a cookie cutter rule from one news clipping ... but this one: two suma cum laude adults - one divorce - one event with an F grade ... one tragedy because the father had no clue how to face failure?// //http://www.acorn-online.com/joomla15/lewisboroledger/news/localnews/105537-four-members-of-a-cross-river-family-including-two-children-were-found-dead-today.html// //The emotional side of Gifted Adults is a serious matter, and I'm very proud of you Olando to pick such a difficult subject.//

((the control freak that I am cleaned up your formatting because I can physically not read a text with a change from serif to sans serif at each paragraph. Feel free to complain and scream at me.. I just find funny and appropriate to send it back to you with real examples of + perfectionistic and sets high standards for self and others + has passionate, intense feelings + the missing control freak part // friday night))

=Gifted Adults= =by Olando Harris=

Gifted adults can misinterpret their complex and deep way of thinking as craziness. They can mistake their emotional intensity for emotional immaturity or see it as a character flaw. Gifted adults who have never been given information to explain what is "normal for gifted," frequently experience frustration in the world, alienation, anger, self blame, and emptiness. Without an adequate explanation of their gifted difference, they develop a mask to hide who they really are, in order to cover their authentic self; a face that they show to the world in order to fit in and so avoid disapproval or sanction.

//In adults, as well as children, giftedness is a whole-person phenomenon. Being gifted affects not only the cognitive and academic aspects of individuals, those qualities that we usually associate with giftedness, but also their emotional, social, and spiritual well-being. It is more a set of traits than a list of achievements; traits that don’t always make life simple or successful. Throughout their lifetimes, these individuals experience both the blessings and burdens of being gifted (Roeper, 1999).//

Characteristics of Gifted Adults
 * perfectionistic and sets high standards for self and others
 * has strong moral convictions
 * is highly sensitive, perceptive or insightful
 * fascinated by words or an avid reader
 * feels out-of-sync with others
 * is very curious
 * has an unusual sense of humour
 * a good problem solver
 * has a vivid and rich imagination
 * questions rules or authority
 * has unusual ideas or connects seemingly unrelated ideas
 * thrives on challenge
 * learns new things rapidly
 * has a good long-term memory
 * feels overwhelmed by many interests and abilities
 * <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">is very compassionate
 * <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">feels outrage at moral breaches that the rest of the world seems to take for granted
 * <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">has passionate, intense feelings
 * <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">has a great deal of energy
 * <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">can't switch off thinking
 * <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">feels driven by creativity
 * <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">loves ideas and ardent discussion
 * <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">needs periods of contemplation
 * <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">searches for answers in their life
 * <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">feels a sense of alienation and loneliness
 * <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">is very perceptive
 * <span style="display: block; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify;">feels out of step with others

Many gifted adults seem to go through life either not knowing they are gifted, but feeling the effects of being gifted, or knowing they are gifted, but having a hard time embracing the fact that they are gifted. The gifted adults who go through life not knowing they are gifted, because they have never been identified can develop severe emotional issues and because they don’t know the reasons for the deep and intense feelings, they become overwhelmed. Then there are those gifted adults who try to mask their giftedness by basically underachieving so they may fit in. This can lead to what is called the ‘imposter syndrome’.

"//The “imposter syndrome” strikes people everywhere, especially high achievers. It makes them discount their success attributing it to luck, not real ability. Along with it comes the fear that anytime they could be found out. The more successful you get, the greater the inner stress. Now people have expectations of you that you may not be able to meet. Now each decision you make should be perfect because there’s much to lose.//" Simran Bhargava, [|The Imposter Syndrome: Feeling Like A Fraud]

The gifted adult whose life circumstances do not readily provide an arena for the positive use of these abilities the result may be a feeling of frustration, lack of fulfillment, a nagging sense of being tied down, imprisoned, thwarted (Roeper, 1991; Smith, 1992).

The middle management employee who has the ability to see and devise solutions to various company problems may be seriously frustrated in his job because a boss who lacks that ability does not allow the expression, much less the implementation of those solutions.

The suburban housewife, who has raised several children and worked as a volunteer for innumerable civic associations, may find herself restless, bored and frustrated when the children have left home. Social activities do not fill the void, nor does the sort of routine job she may be tempted to pursue to get herself out of the house.

The worker stuck in a dead end, menial job because she lacked the opportunity for an education appropriate to her unusual cognitive abilities, has no way to use those abilities in her intellectually undemanding work.

None of these individuals may fully understand the reasons for their dissatisfactions. They may not see a way or even a need to give themselves an outlet for their abilities, because they do not recognize the source of the problem. Having bought into society's achievement-bound definition of giftedness, they are unlikely to think of themselves as gifted adults. Few adults today were identified as gifted in childhood and they may never have understood their own differences from the norm. Because it is hard to be different, those who __were__ identified may have protected themselves with denial.

The gifted frequently take their own capacities for granted, believing that it is people with different abilities who are the really bright ones (Alvarado, 1989; Tolan, 1992). Not understanding the source of their frustration or ways to alleviate it, they may opt to relieve the pain through the use of alcohol, drugs, food or other addictive substances or behaviors. Or they may simply hunker down and live their lives in survival mode.

Even when the individual is able to use her gifts to achieve undeniable career success, she may feel and appear seriously out of step. Barbra Streisand, for instance, whose abilities are not only obvious and far from norms but also wide-ranging, is criticized for perfectionism, for demanding too much from those she works with. Her well-known discomfort with public performance may come in part from the seemingly paradoxical self-esteem problems that often come with extraordinary gifts.

How to cope with being gifted as an adult://Over my 29 years of working with this population, I have found certain issues come up repeatedly in therapy. The main challenges include: painful schooling experiences, high levels of sensitivity and intensity, existential depression/ advanced empathy, perfectionism, multipotentiality, and difficulties with relationships. (Mendaglio & Perterson, 2007) When a therapist recognizes the characteristics that often accompany advanced development and explains these traits and their effects to the clients, this explanation, in itself, can have a profound impact on the outcome of therapy (Jacobsen, 1999).//

**<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px;">Counseling: **
Counseling generally does not recognize the unique issues greater intelligence bestows. Still, a small scattering of gifted counselors do address just these issues. Examples included here are Annemarie Roeper, emphasizing the Self and agenda-less counseling; Clive Hazell, who works to uncover overexcitabilities buried under defensive armor (as does counselor Andrew Mahoney); Patricia Gatto-Walden, who insists that the social and spiritual selves be included with the physical, emotional, mental aspects of the whole person seeking help; Douglas Kutner, who knows what ADHD looks like in gifted adults; Paula Prober, who addresses the nitty-gritty realities of gifted motherhood; and Sharon Conarton, who deals with gifted men’s issues from a Jungian viewpoint. Research by Deborah Ruf examines gifted traits and attitudes, while Mary-Elaine Jacobsen illustrates how counselors can recognize traits of giftedness and urges the therapeutic community to gain expertise with gifted clients. Stephanie Tolan explains by means of “Dots and Spaces” why gifted people see only others as gifted, not themselves.

There are a few things that a gifted adult can do in order to cope with their giftedness:

** 1) **** Nurturing the Self **
a) Knowing and loving all aspects of oneself enables one to find and use sources of personal power.

** 2) **** Knowing oneself **
a) Discovering personal symbols can help gifted people understand and value their insights and intuitions. Personal symbols can be explored in a variety of ways, including daydreaming, analysis of dreams, poetry writing, sketching, and the use of imagery and visualization techniques.

**<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px;">3) Accepting oneself **
a) Valuing their uniqueness is necessary for gifted adults in accepting themselves. Valuing and accepting negative traits can be a means of freeing energy to deal creatively with life. If the gifted adult is able to accept faults and vulnerabilities, then the positive sides of these traits can come to light. Energy will not be focused on feeling unhappy about self or on denying faults and failings.

b) Most creativity develops from the energy found in discontent; using discomfort as a sign that creative energy is available allows for the taking charge of self rather than for feeling fated to misfortune.

** 4) **** Finding sources of personal power **
a) Freeing oneself from the constraints that inhibit use of creativity by listening to inner messages is one means of finding personal power. Learning to use loneliness rather than avoiding or fearing it can be an important means of increasing personal power (C.A. Martin, personal communication, June 12, 1984).

b) Many gifted adults are lonely because of a lack of true peers. Feeling comfortable with oneself, having a wide variety of interests, knowing that there are some people who value at least parts of themselves, and viewing lonely times as a chance of further self-care and self-exploration are ways of growing in personal power.


 * 5) **** Nurturing Interpersonal Relationships **

a) Having realistic and sensitive expectations for oneself and others and being able to share oneself with others are vital to the development of supportive interpersonal relationships.

b) Gifted adults often have high expectations for themselves and others. Sometimes they forget that other people are not gifted in the ways they are. In fact, gifted adults may need to develop an appreciation for the talents of others.

c) Recognition of others' talents can lead to warm friendships in which different talents can complement each other.

d) Understanding the effects of one's giftedness on others entails a realization that the same behaviors may elicit different responses from different people and from the same people at different times. For example, emotional intensity can be energizing at one time but exhausting at another.

e) Different limits may have to be negotiated with individuals. Just as sensitive gifted adults may cause others to feel robbed of deep feelings, the anxiety expressed by others may cause the gifted person to feel robbed of the chance to make decisions about the relationship.

f) Learning to set clear boundaries and to negotiate particular limits on giving, expenditure of time and energy, and individual needs for distance and expression of uniqueness can help gifted adults feel some sense of choice in a relationship.

g) Because of their inner depth and complexity, gifted adults may need to find a large number of friends, each of whom can meet some needs and reflect some aspects of self. Gifted adults sometimes expect to share everything with one person and over-look the special relationships that can develop around one interest or one facet of self.

h) Sharing one's particular gifts with another can be a source of both self-sustenance and connectedness to others. Some gifts are easier to share with individual friends; others may require a larger audience.

i) A special kind of sharing occurs in the writing of poetry. The need to communicate is an integral part of the experience of writing a poem. Writing poetry is a self-enhancing process that occurs by connecting the writer in some new way to other people, it is from this sort of sharing that emotional growth is fostered.

j) Gifted adults can use their special talents to help others find their own creativity and their own sources of inner power. Finding ways of sharing self can enhance both people in a relationship and bring depth to that relationship as it grows and changes over time.

In conclusion, a lot of gifted adults may need to come to the realization that ‘they are gifted’ and be okay with that. They need to learn about giftedness and how it affects their lives. Once a gifted adult is comfortable with who they are and know about what makes them they way they are, they’ll come to a point of contentment and happiness in their lives. They’ll be able to control their emotions, because they now understand why they feel the way they do. They will also begin to see these same characteristics in others and begin to develop relationships with other. They’ll realize that they are not alone.

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px;">References

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px;"> Clance, P. (1985). The imposter phenomenon. Atlanta: Peachtree.

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px;"> Clance, P., & Imes, S. (1978). The impostor phenomenon in high achieving women: Dynamics and therapeutic interventions. Psychotherapy: Therapy. Research & Practice, 15, 241-246.

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px;">Clark, B. (2002). //Growing up gifted: developing the potential of children at home and at school// (6th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Merrill/Prentice Hall.

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px;">Gifted Adults. (n.d.). //Gifted & Creative Services Australia//. Retrieved November 1, 2011, from http://giftedservices.com.au/adults.html

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px;">Gifted Adults, Intense Emotions, Depression and Anger. (n.d.). //Gifted Adults | Gifted for Life//. Retrieved November 1, 2011, from http://giftedforlife.com/1599/gifted-adults-intense-emotions-depression-and-anger/

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px;">Jacobsen, M. (1999). The gifted adult. New York: Ballantine.

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px;">SENG: Articles & Resources - Fostering adult giftedness: Acknowledging and addressing affective needs of gifted adults. (n.d.). //SENG: Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted//. Retrieved November 1, 2011, from http://www.sengifted.org/articles_adults/Lind_FosteringAdultGiftedness.shtml

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px;">SENG: Articles & Resources - Gifted Adults in Work. (n.d.). //SENG: Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted//. Retrieved November 1, 2011, from http://www.sengifted.org/articles_adults/Nauta_GiftedAdultsInWork.shtml

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px;"> Silverman, L. K. (1993). (Ed.) Counseling the Gifted and Talented. Denver, CO: Love.

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px;">Tolan, S. S. (n.d.). Self-Knowledge, Self-Esteem and the Gifted Adult. //Talent Development Resources : creativity and personal growth//. Retrieved November 1, 2011, from http://talentdevelop.com/articles/Self-Knowledge.html

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px;">Winebrenner, S. (1994). How gifted kids can survive in “inclusion” classrooms. Understanding Our Gifted 6(6),1, 8-11.